The missing money manual

Did you ever been handed the golden manual on how to think or feel about money? How to manage it? From your parents, at school or from friends? Yeah, me neither. School was all about molding you into the ultimate rule-following employee and the chances are high your parents didn’t know what to tell you. We can proudly say that -as freelancers- we have chose the scenic route, but turns out, they still forgot to teach us the ABCs of a good money mindset, the making, saving, spending, and investing of money. I want to share with you insights on how to stop being poor and how to take control of your perspective and relationship with money. Let’s turn those financial frowns upside down.

The money mindset starts subconsciously during our formative years

There’s this notion of three wealth tiers worldwide – a mere 5% basks in wealth, 15% snug in the middle class, and the rest of us, a whopping 80%, find ourselves in the not-so-enviable “poor” category. Or if you look at the distribution of wealth from Credit Suisse, you’ll see that they even put 55% of adults in the “miserable” category. We grow up with parents that have struggled paying bills, or have worked so hard just to make it through the end of the month. Your parents might had limited or no resources to create opportunities to advance themselves, which left them stuck. Even if you did grow up living very comfortably, the stress might’ve been apparent as your parents clutched onto their wealth like it might disappear at any moment.

And there it begins, right in the unconscious recesses of your mind. You unknowingly absorb the money mindset of your upbringing, and it shapes your adult life. Whether you’re in hot pursuit of money, struggling to save without success, or troubled by anxiety over the idea of it slipping away, it all traces back to those early lessons.

Money-related anxiety is a widespread emotion, a true paradox considering that 80% of us (if we follow the three-tier theory) hold fears about a commodity we use every single day. It’s not just our upbringing shaping these money views; take a glance at the news, banks, insurance companies, and government, and you’ll find they don’t exactly simplify the topic for us either.

In my case, like many others, my early views on money were engraved by the environment I grew up in, with divorced parents each contributing their unique perspectives. Their narratives weren’t exactly models of financial wisdom. On one side, money corresponded to complications and headaches. Our household hunted for discounts, yet at the end of the month brought a struggle to scrape together the rent. On the other side, I was taught that money ruled the world, and having enough of it was the key to happiness. I held those beliefs for a long time as truths before realising how to rebuild and reprogram my relationship with money.

Unmasking the excuses and breaking the cycle

Excuses become our security blankets, soothing us into the role of victims. Fueled by the fear and anxiety surrounding money, we create stories to make us more comfortable being and -indirectly staying- poor. While justifying our actions through excuses is a common human tendency, it’s a habit that stifles growth of your money mindset. It only makes us evade responsibility by shifting the blame onto others. Here are some typical excuses you might catch yourself or others using to dodge accountability.

Rich people are greedy, selfish and inherently bad

In my younger days, I’d vocally assert that the wealthy were somehow morally inferior to me. I convinced myself that my integrity and values trumped the importance of my bank account balance. Whilst there is truth in what I was telling myself, the complete picture is more nuanced. Yes, money doesn’t guarantee happiness (I was right about that), but blaming others for their hard work and success was just my jealousy talking to deflect my own insecurities. Note that, doing so never helped me accomplish anything.

Money is the root of all evil

Many of us harbour the notion that money is the source of all evil. But why? What did money do to us to feel that way? For me, it was lessons ingrained by my parents, who treated money as a constant burden, something to avoid discussing. Yet, it’s not money that’s evil; it’s our frustration at not having enough that triggers and unlocks in us negative emotions. In impoverished neighbourhoods, the lack of money often exacerbates criminality, health issues, and social problems, contradicting the notion that money is inherently evil. Which is the opposite of the statement of money being evil. Money plays a significant role in shaping the opportunities and experiences that contribute to a fulfilling and well-rounded life.

I’m doing my best, but it’s not good enough

It’s easy to point fingers at clients for not hiring you more, but a better strategy is to elevate your game to the point where they can’t imagine life without you. Make sure to stay ahead, never stop growing your knowledge and learn how to improve yourself. Dedicate time to enhance your skills. Whether it’s overcoming shyness, enhancing salesmanship, or any other improvement, there’s always room for growth. Sometimes it’s tough to admit, but the truth is, it’s not them, it’s probably you.

Stop being poor and transform your money mindset

Break free from the grip of poverty by transforming the way you perceive and approach money. Take a look at your relationship with money—is it positive or negative? I’ve changed and reprogrammed my money mindset, and you can too. Utilising money wisely doesn’t mean splurging on that dream Lamborghini; it’s about the head space gained from not worrying over how to cover your expenses. Ironically, poverty is terribly expensive for your well being. Having enough of it creates a mindful state, freeing up time and attention for your loved ones, business, social or sustainable projects, creating a deeper connection with what truly matters to you.

Conclusion

Let’s talk more about money and demystify the taboo around it. The lack of open conversation is why many of us know so little about what to do with it. To be able to know how to think about money, you have to be comfortable talking about it. Ask questions, educate yourself, read books and broaden your view on what money is and what it represents to you.

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